Twenty or so

I love consciously 

and wholeheartedly.

I thought you did too.

Did all the years mean nothing?

We’ve been friends since second grade.

I met you on the bench behind the slide

where we sat avoiding those playing house.

We laughed for years. 

I never had a reason to lie.

Not to you or myself or anyone else.

We played make believe.

We pretended to be a news crew reporting 

on the sidelines of a recess soccer field.

When we learned about the revolution you were Thomas Jefferson and I was Paul Revere.

When the new playground was built we worked for weeks so that we’d be the first 

to flip the swing — and we didn’t break our necks.

When we grew up I wanted to run for president with you being my vp.

By middle school you wanted to be a doctor

and I just wanted to make it through 

We did projects together- a slideshow, a rocket, and an egg drop 

When I was asked to play music for events

I’d get you out of class early claiming

you had to help me.

High school came and I thought 

everything was the same. I had some realizations and I figured them out.

You’re twenty or so and you have the same doubts.

Now you’re using god to make yourself fit into a certain mold. 

I never knew you to be hateful, but I never knew you at twenty or so.

I cancelled our plans and we probably won’t speak again. 

If you have to lose yourself and a friend to feel righteous and loved

then we’ve got a different God - we’ve got a different sin.

I’m a sinner for loving everyone that I do. Friends, lovers, family and you.

You’re a sinner for lying so some church, college or boy will finally accept you.