Right in the head

I wish I had a little less sense

like my grandma did

Maybe I could cry and

let my makeup smear

and tell myself all the things

I’d want to hear

I could do a line 

and call you up

to tell you all the things

I know would hurt you

I’d show up at your door

screaming and crying

holding a ‘44

telling rather than asking, 

what the hell is wrong with you?

I’d love to take my mustang

and leave tracks through your yard

Kick dust up, tires throwing

rocks through your windows

maybe even steal your cat

I wish I could trade in my shrink

for Marlboros and a bottle of Jack 

I want you’d to tell all your friends 

that I was crazy and I wanted you dead 

I wish I had a reason to hate you

but I’m just not right in the head

I wish the trailer park I grew up in

had a longer lasting effect 

I wish I still fought in a sandy gravel yard

with both hands in fists 

Knocking your front teeth out

just for calling it quits 

I want to tattoo your name

in a red heart across my back 

then get it covered up 

with a cross and a Bible verse 

I want to tell your mama 

all the nasty things you said 

to me when we were alone 

just to make it worse

but you didn’t say anything 

and I’ve got no real reason to fight

So I just change my routine 

and avoid long nights 

I wish I could wash any of

this pain away with a bottle,

a needle or a pill

I wish I had my Nana’s anger

I wish I was mad enough to kill

I wish my heart was breaking

from all the things you’ve done wrong

rather than just aching 

from all the things we used to be

and we could’ve been

Losing you would be easier

if I had reason to hate you

or jail cell to lie in

It’d be easier if I was crazy

or if I had a little less sense